I really like being sexual. It makes just want to hide under a rock though. I hear so many judgmental statements. I wish I didn���t care but I really value friendships too. It���s a value dilemma.
I want to be involved in our society that outcasts the sluts and whores yet I can���t help the personal desire to play with every cock and sexy bitch I meet. Across the table is a voluptuous sexy woman practically offering to rock my world but next to me is a discussion about self respect and the ills of a society of skanks and whores.
Sure, sure, why should I care what others think of me? But, if I want to meet people and be a part of society, I can���t stand alone in my convictions can I? There aren���t many women like me who can love a man and want to stand by him and still want to see another woman tease and play with him. Do I get jealous? Yes of course I do. I get jealous if I���m not getting any attention. I get jealous if someone has a beautiful body and reminds me my ass looks like a cow. But do I get jealous because my man is getting his cock sucked? No. Jealousy is a temporary emotion. It���s pouty and silly. I get jealous. I also get stubborn. I have lots of emotions that I deal with. I cry when I see an animal dead on the road. But it doesn���t change my life. My man getting his dick sucked is not much different than him masturbating in the shower when it comes to life as it will be tomorrow.
Do I run the risk that he will fall in love with a woman who sucks cock better than I do? Sure. But doesn���t everyone? If our love is only based on sex then it deserves an early death. If he meets someone and falls in love otherwise, then it probably would have happened without the sex. But most likely, what will happen is that he���ll meet someone, his sexual curiosity will be satisfied and he���ll be ready to move on to the next one. At least that���s what happens for me.
Sexual curiosity ��� I want to experience sex. I love the exciting thrill of connecting with someone in a sexual way. Maybe it���s because I���m not that good at conversation. Maybe I should work on my social skills but, that intimacy that is involved with sex is a real craving for me. It���s not a lasting relationship that I���m after but a deep connection. I���d rather have a blast of wasabi than the slow melt of hard candy.
But then there it is��� the judgment. Like somehow everyone I have sex with leaves a black stain on my soul and the more partners that I���ve had the blacker my soul. I���ll become the disrespected member of society -the black plague of the community. I���ll infect others with my dirty soul. My face and body will become transparent and everyone will know that my soul is evil and dark with sex. I will become a transparent zombie slave to my swollen dripping pussy. I will be banished from the city and forced to live among the rocks in the desert.
