I find myself struggling a little as I read and reflect on my online relationship and wonder about the differences with my current cohabitation relationship. I just want to journal and think.
My cohabitation relationship take so much more give and take for us to get through the daily tasks of life. There are so many minute responsibilities required of daily living that I don't see how any Dom could control every decision or would possibly want to do so.
I don't see how I could give up my decision making ability.. I have a brain and I do enjoy using it. Give me the problem and I'll find a solution.
In my on-line relationship, I felt as a slave to my Master. All things controlled by Him were His decision. However, that scope of things was quite small in comparision wasn't it. Groceries, bills, what to watch on tv, where the cat should sleep, what temperature the room should be, where to park the car, how to decorate your house, how to arrange your furniture.. living alone and having a long-distance, on-line Master is much different than having a boyfriend living with you.
When you boyfriend is your 24/7 dominate, there is some division of responsibilities that seem to dilute the impression of absolute authority that the on-line Master enjoyed.
Please understand that I can only speak from my limited experience and would not and do not attempt to decribe anyone else's relationship.
But, I wonder that even the most dominating, controlling top and the most serving bottom wouldn't divide some of the decisions of daily living. That there wouldn't be some humor in the house where the bottom could tease the top a bit.
I think that for me, at least at this point, our 24/7 relationship is about respect, and giving SG the authority to make the final decision. I will express my opinion but not harp on it. I will let him know my needs and desires but not insist on them. I will shut up when I see him losing his patience and remind him that I will do what ever he desires. I may ask him to give me a moment to make a suggestion and then decide.. But I must be sure to always do so with respect that he is the one protecting me. I must always remember that he is the one who is providing for my needs by serving me just as much if not more than I serve him.
For us the D/s relationship seems more like a partnership than an ownership. With my on-line relationship, I do feel like my Master did many many things for me emotionally and sexually.. this was his domain. He owned it and Mastered it. But in my current relationship, the things extend to the mundane as well and somehow the love is still there. I need to note that I always believed that the mudane killed love. I am learning to understand where it is in the mudane that one sees love most.
Though, we do need to finish this damn moving and get some time and energy for some hot and sexy, down and dirty, nasty sex. Right baby!
