We went to a brief seminar on orgasm control. It was a bit shocking. The speaker had once kept her sub in chastity for 18 months allowing only for an occassion prostrate milking. She described her background in phycology and studies in power exchange.
She liked to enter orgasm control through the mind. Understanding her bottom's mental weaknesses in regards to sex. She felt that once she could delve into a bottom's core fears or shame, she had more control than mere pain or bondage. She emphasized the importance of knowing where you were digging. Since many people had abusive pasts that may bring up areas that she couldn't handle.
I was sitting there thinking... is this a class for everyone? There certainly are alot of Doms that I've met that I wouldn't trust with my inner most issues.
Thankfully, I have to interject, I am in safe hands.
But, the class went on to explain that in general orgasm denial went well with men bottoms and forced orgasm worked well on female bottoms but it was not a rule. With orgasm denial the idea was to keep the bottom in a state of arrousal without release. And with forced orgasm the idea was to cause the bottom to repeat orgasm after orgasm [don't remember when it was supposed to stop.. when the top was bored or the bottom collapsed i suppose].
Anyway.. the physical techniques came down to practice. Getting to know the tell signs of the bottom. For denial, finding the scrunch of the scrotum or the face that's made just before the point of no return.. then backing off the stimulus.
For forced orgasm, the art was to discover the was to stimulate without the pain of overstimulation. Since the clitoris and penis become over sensitive after cumming, the top has to find indirect stimuli to arouse the bottom back into orgasm.
Having once bottomed to the speaker, it was interesting to listen to her speak and think back on the experience. I remember thinking that she had asked so very personal questions for having met her just a short time before. I thought she was just interested in me..lol.
For me things get blurry in my memory .. especially scenes. But, i remember the connection. I remember her whispering in my ear and i remember crying about being ashamed of cuming in front of people. I remember seeing people watch me as i made a mess while she stroked me to a blissful orgasm after orgasm. I was played. I was played beautifully though.
But.. let me close with an emphasis on a warning. It is my own observation that many of us have deep wounds that are explored in the BDSM world. Unless you as a top have the training to deal with that kind of phycology.. don't mess with a person who has had childhood sexual abuse. And if your a bottom, WARN YOUR TOP. That's your job. Safewords aren't just for pain.
